


My Heart

by eyecandychan



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 20:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyecandychan/pseuds/eyecandychan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its been years since I saw him and I never felt more inlove with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> An AU school. This happens after the manga left off. Please Enjoy

_The words that I want to say at that moment were so hard to comprehend. That spiky black hair, I vaguely remember. That unwavering smile I oh so cherished was right there infront me. Dumbstruck, stupefied----frozen… For 6 long years I wanted to see him so bad. I wanted to hear, him say my name again. The person I cherished the most returned. And now I don’t know how to act and what to say._

“Killua !”

_It was not the same voice back when we were traveling together or the voice that said goodbye to me but it was kinder and straighter forward. But even so, it still has the certain ring to it that made my heart pound … and my stomach churn so bad, I can’t think rationally._

_He smiled at me and I was still stuck at my place. As he draws closer to me, my system got wild. My heart started to race; it was uncomfortable and yet so heavenly. Because at the sight of his well-built body and that loyal smile, my instincts can’t help but get wild and order me to… run towards him … run and … let him know everything… let him speak…say those words … over and over again ….until he was on the verge of tears, until he can’t get enough of it._ _I love you … I love you … Gon… **Aishiteru** …._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He finally realizes his feelings, but is he too late?

_It was in the midst of April when I heard rumors about the chairman’s son transferring into our class. For months, it was the word of every student here. As for me, I really don’t like the idea, aside from the part that the chairman rarely shows his face in front of the students here(s’not like that I care) , that kid would probably be a pain in the butt given his status._

_The classes started and sensei entered our classroom. He was a well-built teacher with razor-sharp pointed eyes, which looks at me like I was some kind of food. The girls in my class adored him so much that I find it weird. What’s to adore about that guy? Coz every time he speaks my name, chills were always send down in my spine_

“Killua” _he calls me with those nerve wrecking hollow and deep voice. I stood up and then he looked at me with that ecchi eyes_

“Yes Hisoka-sensei?” _how I detest the fact that he’s my sensei. I’m from a formidable family of assassin. I can kill him anytime I wanted to. And yet something inside me was stopping myself._

“Kindly open the door… the chairman’s son would’ve arrive by now” _tsss … does the fucking guy don’t have hands?!_

_I slowly walked towards the door filled with anger. Why did I have to go to a stinking school? Without him around … was … weird. Having people mingle around you was pointless if his not around. I wanted to see him so bad. So …. So … bad …_

_I was a meter away from the door when … BOOOGSSSSSHHH it opened swiftly. So fast I cant get the clear view of the person who entered the room. Everyone was making uproar and, Hisoka-sensei gave a weird and disgustingly noise._

“Ohhhhnnnnnn!! You must be the chairman’s son. You … You … ooooooohhhhh”

_I looked away from the perverted teacher and turned to look at the guy standing infront of the whole class. He has spiky hair and a couple or three inches shorter than me. His shoulders were broad and his back was familiar._

_Ba-thump … ba-thump …_

_That’s odd… my heart started to race. I’m nervous for some reason. Could he be … but then … bathump bathump. Darn it why em I so nervous???_

“Ohhhhhnnnn Mr., kindly introduce yourself.” 

“Hello everyone! I’m Gon Freeces nice to meet you all !!!”

“Ohnnnnn Gooooonnnnnnnnn” 

“hettou… sensei could you stop that please?”

“G—G---….G---…onn” _the softest sound I ever heard from myself, was all I could utter_.

_What kind of sorcery pulled him here? I was dumbstruck for seconds. No it almost felt like forever that I was frozen at that spot. 6 years ago, we promised to contact each other but I accidentally lost my phone when I was travelling with Alluka.  Then everything was stuck and I never heard about him again. But now fate’s hand moved and swept him back to me. Gon…_

“Killua-kun.. you may  return to your seat again”

“Killua … ?” _Gon uttered in be wilderness. He spun around to face me. My heart started to race at the same time. It hurts so much that it might pop right out of my chest faster than he could utter my name again. How I long to see him again. Gon … Gon …_ “Its you Killua !!!!!!!!”

_My heart skipped a beat after I saw his radiant smile. He jumped right at me, infront of the class. Oh the shame!!! But it was worth it. Being held by his arms once again. He hugged me tighter by the minute. This is dangerous. His too close… too close that I’m afraid he might here my heartbeats._

“Get off me you dumbass! The hell are you doing!?” _No don’t let go of me._

“Don’t think I”ll let you off the hook Killua! You haven’t contacted me for 6 years so much for the stupid promise you gave me !!!”

_Darn it he remembered it. What’ll I do now?? Tsk…_

“But… I’ve already forgiven you so don’t worry about it” _he winked at me with those innocent eyes. Blast it I can’t breathe for some unknown reason. This feeling is somehow … weird. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way but … I can’t help myself. He IS the person I cherish the most. So maybe that was the reason for me to go nuts at the sound of his voice._

 

“I really don’t get it. What happen to Alluka after that?”

“How many times do I have to repeat it. Darn it. Everything’s fine inside our family now after Illumi-aniki went away. That’s why I can go to school”

“Okay …”

_He hasn’t changed a thing. Present and past ‘Gon’ is the same. I thought that he would be angry with me but I was proven wrong. He’s more mature now and quite good-loo……king._

**_What the hell ‘em I thinking!?_ **

_Gon is my bestfriend. Not to mention he is a DUDE … just like me. Why did I just think of that!? Darn the sakura flu is getting on me._

“Killua !”

“Yes!!?” _I was startled I felt myself flushed._

“Are you listening to me?”

“No, what were you saying again” _my chest’s tightening again._

“that was pretty direct Killua. I was talking about the weird teacher. Hisoka-sensei”

“*snapped* don’t go near that person. His dangerous ”

“Yeah Ging mentioned that to me last night”

“G—ging!? The chairman?? No it cant be ( _No wonder he doesn’t show his face infront of us)”_

“Yeah, he said that if I wanna stay a **man** during my stay here. I should stay away from Hisoka-sensei. I really didn’t get it though”

“( _Ging that bastard --__--*)_ well, just stay away from him as much as possible, that guy gives me the creeps”

“Whose giving you creeps, ne… Killua-kun?” with a malice voice he blew Killua’s ears gently. Hairs started to stand in Killua’s skin“By the way… Gon-kun … nice butt you have there …ohnnnn” then he grabbed hold of _it_.

“ **HI----HISOKA-SENSEI!!!!** ” the two of them chorused, flustered backing away from the perverted teacher

“I _guess_ Ging was right”

“You idiot!!! He IS right!!”

“Now… now you two.. I was just welcoming Gon-kun’s stay here. Come now Gooon-kun talk to me more… more… ooooh more !!”

“Well.. thank you very much sensei”

“You idiot!! Stop blushing!!!”

The moment Gon stood up, Killua went infront of Gon in a protective stunt and stop him from going near Hisoka.

“What do you want sensei?”

Intimidated by Killua’s deadly and cold eyes, Hisoka stepped back and smirked evilly, letting out a malice voice.

“Ohnnnnnnnnn Killua-kuuuuuuuun … that look!! Yesssss !!”

  _This guy is a total weirdo. Why does he have to target Gon as well. I must protect him no matter what. And why does he have to moan?_

“Hisoka-sensei … Oh … is that you Killua?”

_Standing behind Hisoka-sensei was Kurapika-sensei. The teacher who always saves me from the perverted hands of this good for nothing teacher._

“Hisoka-san, are you harassing Killua again? Please refrain yourself from doing so. The board might kick you out of this school.”

“But Kurapika-san… this is far more than enjoyment”

He looked directly at Killua and then disappeared faster than the blink of the eye and appeared behind Killua; just right beside Gon. He was holding, Gon in his neck. Hisoka stared at the deadly Killua before he gave the dumb-founded Gon a huge smack on the lips.

“You …. !!!!!”  _This guy is going down!!!!_ “Let go of him !! now!!!”

“Hisoka-sensei !!!!!” Kurapika shouted

“Hai.. Hai …” then he unhanded the half fainted Gon Freeces on the floor. Hisoka skipped away from the sight of Killua.

Killua followed him until he vanished on the next corner of the hallway. He dropped his defensive stunt and immediately tends to Gon.

“Gon are you okay!?” _That bastard I’m going to kill him_

The raged in Killua’s head didn’t vanished easily. He slowly clutched his hands until blood drops from it.

“I’ll go get a medicine kit” Kurapika announced the two and rushed towards the infirmary room.

“Don’t worry Killua… It was just a _kiss…_ ”

“ _Just a kiss!??_ that bastard just… yeah … kissed you without your permission”

“Well I should also be angry at him … that was my first kiss hehehehe”

_That was his first kiss? now I’m even more pissed. No I’m more pissed because I’m getting pissed what’s happening to me._

He stared at Gon, who replied a wry smile as he was suppressing his anger, showing him a calm and reserved Killua. But even Killua cant perfectly hide the questions filling up his mind. He clenched his hands even tighter and blood gushed down his hand.

“Darn it !!!”

He punched the wall. And walked away from Gon.

“wait killua !!!!!!”

Gon grab a hold on Killua’s arm

“What are you so worked up about?” Gon asked Killua. Tightening his grip on his wrist

“It’s nothing.”

“Baka~ !!! You won’t be acting like this if its nothing.”

_Six years and yet he still reads me like an open book. I don’t how to put it to words. Coz everything is still a blur to me. Gon is my best friend. He’s the first friend I ever had, but this is not the normal way a friend should feel… so i think, even if its with the smallest possibility, I think … the reason for my heart to race so much when he speaks my name is …_

“You wanna know the reason !???”

Killua pushed Gon on the wall, placed his right hand at the of Gon’s upper left shoulder and moved closer to his face…

“Owwww !! killua !! wat’cha do that for!??” Gon looked at Killua’s face and was mesmerized for a while and then he looked away from his stare. He blushed for a second

“Look at me Gon !!!!”

_Damn it ! I I can’t breathe again … his face … is he blushing? Darn it_

With the lowest possible tone, Killua uttered “Gonnnn….”

“Killua …” with the same tone he replied and looked straight at Killua who was inches from him

There was a screeching silence between them. Their eyes spoke of what’s not been turned to words. Slowly their gaze turns to a slow movement, between Killua’s trembling lips and Gon’s.

“Killua ….” Gon uttered once again

Killua closed his eyes and continued to move even closer. It felt like eternity and festive happiness that Killua, regardless of his nature, decided to throw away all his rational way of thinking and continued what his heart dictated.

“Gonn…” he whispered softly

But then, a loud disheveled voice shouted “Gon-sama !!!!!!!” the two of them was startled and quickly move apart from each other. Flushed.

 

_My heart wont calm down and it continued to beat so fast. What did I was going to do? Why did I wanna do it?Moreover …._

“Akane-chan???”

 “Gon-kuuuuuuunnnnn! I was looking everywhere!”

“Who’s she???”

“Oh … this is Akane Takanashi, my …. Uhmmm well …”

“Oh you must be Killua-san!? I’ve heard a lot of you from Gon-kun. I’m Akane Takanashi … Gon-kun’s fiancée.. nice to meet you”

There was silence between them.

_Fi-fiancee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????????_

Killua looked at Gon’s face and then he confirmed it.

“Could this day get any worst!?”

_…. **I like Gon** _

_…a lot_

_…well I’m not sure though_

_…but…._

_…am I too late?_

_…to win him over?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading again. Please don't hesitate to comment your opinions. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was perfect for him. His courage is wavering.

_Its been a week since Gon or rather her self-proclaimed fiancée announce their engagement. For the last few days as well, all they ever do is cling to each other like a pair of koala and its favorite tree. It pisses me off a bit whenever they bluntly show up in my face with that stupid tomboy clinging so much to him. Men, I’ve never wanted to kill someone, aside from Hisoka-sensei, as much I want kill that girl. Gon haven’t even talked to me properly about that same incident. He hasn’t confirmed it by his own words. I wanted to hear it right from those lips. Did he really propose to that girl?_

“Akane Takanashi, 18 years old. 3 years ago when Ging and I were travelling we came across her and after that Ging decided that we get married.”

It was Gon’s voice. He was walking briskly towards me. His hair was a bit a messed (probably due to his struggle to get away from Akane). He smiled wryly at me.

_Bathump …_

_And my heart started to betray me once again, letting questionable feelings rushed inside me; Questions that kept me up so many nights. Gon… I wish you could notice this soon._

“She was never like this if you ask me. Her jealousy keeps going on the extreme these days”

“As if I care….”

“Well, its actually because of you…”

“Ne!?? h-how can…” _my heart started to beat fast._

“Just kidding….” _Gon giggled childishly. He pushed his head on his crossed arms on my desk and drops his eyelids. I bent my back and placed my chin above my hand. And stared at him as he rest peacefully infront of me. I could do this for eternity. His face was some kind of a radiant ray of sunshine that I love so much. Am I really in love with him? Or did I just confuse myself being in love with him? Coz no matter how I look at it, me falling inlove with Gon, my best friend and a GUY is ….wrong. But…_

“Hey … Gon ….”

“Hmmmmm??”

_He moaned as he was smiling peacefully above my desk._

“About Akane…”

“Yeah what about her?”

“You lied didn’t you?”

Gon was startled by Killua’s sudden words. He immediately pulled himself up and looked bewildered at Killua’s eyes. Killua faintly shook his head and stood up and left.

“Wait Killua !!!”

Akane walked passed Killua and their stares met.

“so there you are Gon-Kun !!!! I was looking everywhere for you” Akane reluctantly pulled Gon towards the opposite door.

“Wait Killua !!!... Just wait a minute Akane-chan”

He used all his might brushing her grip on his arm but he still can’t. In Gon’s mind all that was he was thinking was to run after Killua. He needs to apologize. His heart palpitated as he saw Killua walked towards the door, hand in his pocket. SLAMMMMMM…. The door shut behind him. Gon was left there standing. Regretting that he didn’t tell him the truth and so powerless over Akane.

 

That idiot, is he underestimating me? Of course I would know that he was lying. But what could it be that secret that even he needs to keep it away from me. DARN IT, that jerk!!

“A-akane-chan!!” --_--“ “Please let go of me I need to talk to him”

“Why?!”

“What do you mean by _why_?”

“All this time, all you talk about is ‘Killua this…’ and ‘Me and Killua did this…’ Why do you always talk about him so much…?”

“Well it’s because…”

_They were fighting outside our classroom. Akane tightly gripping Gon’s hand and gazing into his darks eyes. Bathump.. Bathump … there it goes again. The feeling I can’t seem to explain. Blood rushed through my head… Akane Takanashi … I want to kill her. Stop holding Gon’s hands… you can’t …. Let go of him… no one… can hold his hand. No one can hold his hand… no one.. EXCEPT FOR ME!!!_

“Hey!!” Killua roared at Akane “Let go of him …”

“Gon’s my fiancée so butts off!”

“Well Gon never admitted you were his fiancée”

“He did?”

“No he didn’t”

“Says who??”

“says me!!”

“Okay break it up you two!!”

Gon middle between the two who were both ready to bit each other’s heads off. Killua gave Akane a deadly stare and Akane, though intimidated by Killua’s presence, managed to pull herself together and returned his deadly stare.

“Stop bugging Gon! You tomboyish Koala!!!”

“How many times do I have to repeat it? I’m Gon’s fiancée so whether I glue myself to him is none of your damn business!”

“Do you really seriously wanna die!?”

“ENOUGH!”

The two of them were startled and looked at Gon.

_He’s eyes… what happen? The circle under his eyes has gotten darker._

“Killua … please, stop using such language towards Akane-chan.”

_I … I can’t believe this. He sided with that girl!? Why? My chest started to hurt again. But this time it’s more painful than ripping my neck with a knife. Gon? Why?_

“What are you talking about? I mean c’mon … aren’t you tired that she’s always---“

“I said that’s enough Killua. Stop crossing the line”

He grabbed Akane’s hand and looked straight at Killua’s eyes. Killua, still shock, continued to stare at him: trembling, and infuriated.

 

Gon slowly turned around and Killua noticed, in that small fracture of a second he was sure that Gon’s lips said something….

“ _I’m sorry…”_

And then he walked away and vanish tightly gripping Akane’s hand.

 

_I don’t get it. I’m jealous? I like Gon but, is it the like like love, or was it the six years that I thought of him countless of times. I’m so confuse I don’t know how to take this anymore. Back then, when I was just only thinking about him, my heart never drummed so loud like it is now. Its weird. This is the first time I felt something like this._

“Ki---llu----aaaa---kuuuuuuuuuun ♥”

A voice hissed into Killua’s ears which sent him jumping off from his position. He grabs his ear and positioned showing his blade-like hand. He looked up and was more alarmed when he saw the person that had turned up from behind without him noticing.

“Hisoka-sensei…( _When did he appear behind me? I didn’t even sense his presence)_ ”

“Ohhhhh Killua-kun. Why that rotten look on you face? Aren’t you glad to see me?”

“Tssss….”

“OHnnnnnnnn Killua-kun … please, enough with that look ♥”

“What are you doing here?”

“This is a school my dear Killua~ so normally I would be seen around here”

“Its already pass school hour’s sensei…”

Killua became more suspicious behind the perfect smile Hisoka was carrying.

“Ohhhhnnnn .. Killuaaa-kuuun …. Ohhhhhhh….. Killua…” and then he looked at Killua with a deadly stare “Nothing slips out off you. As expected from the heir of the strongest family of assassin, the _Zoldyck’s_ ”

And with the citation of his family, Killua snapped and as fast as lightning he pointed his hand towards Hisoka’s neck. His eyes flamed under the light of dawn and his mouth twitched with every palpitation that Hisoka made. His anger at that time was hard to control

“Right from the beginning I really don’t like you! Speak!” He pierced a quarter of his fingernails towards Hisoka’s neck.

“OHhhhhhhhh …. OHnhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. Killua-kun! Yes! Give me more of that look!!! ♥ ..more! more!!! Please!! More ohnnnhhhhhnnhhhnh.. more of that killing look, ohhhhnnnnn **Killua Zoldyck**!!! ”

Swiftly he escaped Killua’s deadly hands and slipped behind Killua. Hisoka was so fast that the blood became suspended in the mid-air. Killua was petrified in his position. He wanted to move but only his eyeballs could follow Hisoka’s speed.

“Let me give you some advice.”

Hisoka slowly hissed in Killua’s ears. Locking his hands around Killua’s frozen waist.

“As long as, that girl exist,  Gon-sama ♥ can never be nowhere near safe.”

With those words that lingered in his skin… Killua’s anger ignited even more. He, was preparing for another attack when he heard Hisoka’s footsteps walking away. Slowly he turned around forcing his petrified body to face him.

 

“Wait a minute! Hisoka!!!! Ugh----“

There was a bottle that was thrown to him. It was half-filled with red liquid.

“I thought you might need it, Killuaa-kuun ♥. Say hello to Gon-sama for me ♥♥♥ ohhhhhnnnnnnnnnn  … ja mata ne~ ”

He opened the bottle and smelled it. It was a bitter-stench. Just like medicine…

He clenched his fist and all he could think off is …“ _Gon…”_

Because he realize what it was: It was an antidote… _“Where’s Gon!?”_

His body trembled in horror and anger… “ _I need to find Gon”_

And with that resolution, he pulled himself together and searched every classroom he can possibly see.

_Gon…Gon…. !!!! Where could he possibly be in this time of hour? Could he have gone home? But I can still sense his presence in this building his somewhere near hear. I just need to look for Akane and fast._

He barged in inside their classroom and there she was, long chestnut brown hair. From the looks of her she was startled when she saw Killua, drench in his sweat and gasping for air.

“Ki-killua-san… w-what do you want?”

“Gon…*gasp*… where’s *gasp* Gon? *gasp* Where is he?” he slowly marched towards Akane. Akane looked at him with an attempt to scream. Killua’s eyes were so terrifying she can’t make a direct contact to it.

“I don’t know… don’t go near me Killua-san     !!!” Akane pleaded as she was moving towards the wall

“Where is he!????” Killua roared pushing Akane on the wall.

“I don’t know!!!” on the verge of tears she clutched her shoulders tightly as if protecting something from Killua (A/n: if you know what I mean XD)

“Stop lying! Tell me where the fucking world he is!!” Killua roared once again punching the wall Akane was leaning to.

She was so scared her knees trembled and gave up. She kneeled infront of the infuriated Killua, still clutching her shoulder.

“He went to the infirmary a while ago, but when I went to check him back he was gone. I thought he roamed around the campus to find you?”

“Get up … _we_ need to find him fast. I think his in danger right now. The two of you got some explaining to do. Let’s go ^_^”

Akane stood up and blushed as she saw Killua’s smile.

 

_TIME… can be so selfish. For me to develop such one-sided weird and unconditional love towards Gon, of course I wanted to stop it immediately but I just can’t seem to stop it from beating. I like Gon and I want to protect him. No matter what I have to give._

_But, were could he have gone to?? That dumbass!! I’m gonna give him a good beating when I saw him._

Killua walked out of the infirmary room dumbfounded. He’s mind wasn’t functioning well, because he was so worried to the core. The sun is already setting but still no clues about him. In his hand is the bottle that Hisoka gave him a while ago, the red-liquid that he believe would be an antidote, he clenched it with all his might and looked at the sun.

“The….sun…” Killua muttered to himself. Then, faster than lightning he dashed towards the direction of the stairs. He took five steps at a time. He was sure that it had to be the roof top.

He was approaching the uppermost stair… _Gon…please be safe…_

BOOM!!!! The door’s sound echoed all over the rooftop. The chilly wind blew his silver-white hair. The night blanket was placed on the unending sky. Stars were slowly appearing. Killua’s eyes searched for Gon. He was still nowhere to be found.

“Gon!!!!!!!!!” he shouted again. There was no response. “Gon!!!” he shouted once again.

“ _ughhhh”_ somebody moaned

“Gon is that you?”

The remorseful moan came from behind the small shed just behind him. He walked slowly to the shelter and was startled when he saw Gon, uncomfortable in his crouched position. His lips were pale and the circles under his eyes were black. He shrugged Gon so many times but he was still out cold.

“Hey!! Quit playing around…wake up!” but it was no use. He was just silent, suppressing the pain he felt. But then, Killua remembered the bottle Hisoka gave him… _“I thought you might need it, Killuaa-kuun ♥”_

He pushed his hands on his pocket and got the antidote. Took off the bottle cap and gulped it. He hesitantly looked at Gon who was still in pain. He pushed his lips towards Gon’s and forced the liquid into his mouth. He gave the antidote orally…

For moments, or eternity as Killua felt it, he felt himself flushed. He wiped the excess water on his lips and hugged Gon tight. Water started to form in his eyes.

“I’m sorry Gon, I just cant… I cant… I cant stop this feelings anymore. The more I tried to deny it, the more it grows inside me. I’m sorry…”

“Killua-san, what are you doing!!??”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out to be a long chapter. Ugh. Now, I'm hesitating on what to do with this. forgive me for the grammatical errors. Thank you for reading again. I love to hear your opinions. :)


	4. Chapter 4

_Hot…my body, its getting hot. The chilly breeze of the –ber months weren’t taking no effects. Hot…someone help me… ease me from this pain, hot…so ….hot…_

_Killua…Akane…someone help me…_

_“ugh…”_

_It’s getting hotter. What’s wrong with me? The pain’s slowly climbing through my chest. Crawling… filling every part of my throat. What’s happening? I need to breathe but then something soft touched my lips. And the next thing that happened, liquid was pouring continuously on my mouth. It was easing the pain in my chest and I felt so relieve. I opened my eyes and I could almost die. Life was flowing into me once again._

 

“Gon-kun, I’m so happy that we could finally be on a date after so many months. I was surprised that you agreed on going on a date with me…. Really I’m so happy but…”

Fire came from behind her. And then she rotates her head towards the person walking behind her.

“Why does _he_ have to come!????”

Killua’s expression somehow irritated and infuriated.

“The hell you care !??? Gon invited me so you can’t complain about that !? hmmmph!!”

He turned his head away from Akane’s sight.

“Pervert!!!!!!”

“What did you say!??”

The two of them stopped walking. Akane brushed her hand of Gon’s arm, Killua marched towards her---irritated.

“What did you just call me?????” Killua hissed

“Didn’t you hear me? Per-vert !!!”

“Hey you idiotic girl!!! Stop giving me names!!!”

“But you’re a pervert! Pervert! Pervert! Don’t you ever come near my Gon-kun again you hear me??? Pervert!!”

“Gon’s my bestfriend, stop clinging on him too much!!”

“Why!? jealous!?”

“Why I oughta!!!!!!”

“Okay stop there you two…” Gon broke the tension between the two. He walked towards the two and grabbed their hand. He smiled at Killua who was startled by the sudden turn of event.

“Let’s have fun okay???”

“O-okay…” Akane and Killua chorused as the two of them blushed so hard.

_He’s holding … my hands… what should I do??? Stop thinking stupid thoughts Killua! You’re really are turning into a perverted freak that that idiot girl says!_

_I stared at gon for a while and then he stared and smiled back at me again. I know there was more that he wants to say but, there was something that was something stopping him. Is it Akane? Couldn’t be! But what? Who? Why is he hesitating!?_

“Um… Gon…”

“Lets go to the boat!!!!”

Akane bluntly announced the two. Killua was startled.

“Idiot!!!!!!!!”

“What!??????”

“I was talking to Gon so would you mind!!”

“hmmmpppp… c’mon Gon-kun, lets go ther together…”

“Uhmmm. Akane-chan … can I ask you a favor?”

“A… favor???”

Akane eyes’ glittered in admiration. She clutched her hands together and look intently towards Gon.

“If its you asking a favor I would gladly do it” Akane announced with full of admiration.

“Thank you ! Back at the entrance I think I ‘ve forgotten something. But I can’t seem to remember what it is. Could you go and fetch it for me? If its okay though.”

Then without hearing Gon’s answer, she dashed off. She was slowly from their sight.

“( _What an idiot…)_ You’ve forgotten something? You should’ve just told me. Why ask Aka-“

Without finishing his sentence, Gon grabbed his hand and was dragged towards the boat station.

“What the hell are you doing Gon? Let go off me.”

“Just shut up and walk before she comes back.” Gon said in a serious tone “Boat for two please”

Then, they went on board. Gon kept silent for a while and paddled towards the middle of the lake. With curious eyes, Killua just stared at Gon for minutes, waiting for him to break the silence.

_What is he thinking? And what does he mean by, ‘before she comes back?’. My heart’s beating so fast again. There was no stopping this. But wait; is he awake when I gave that antidote last week? Shit ! this is bad, I think he heard everything I said back then? But how come she wants Akane out of the picture first?_

“Ettou, Gon…?”

“Hnnn?....”

“What’s going on?”

“Its about time you know this. I’ve been keeping it for so long I don’t know how to handle it anymore.”

“Jo… tomate! (*hold it a sec*) … what are you saying?” Killua exclaimed, blushing

Gon looked at him straight into his eyes, without blinking. This made Killua’s heart stop for a while. The silence between them was awkward. Then finally, Killua broke the silence.

“Me too, I’ve been feeling the same as you do?”

“NE!? You also have a secret?

Killua blushed and looked away from him “Y—yes…”

“Tell me!!!!”

“No, you tell me first…”

_What’s going on?is he gonna confess to me? But this is so sudden? It hink I’m still not ready for this. No…_

“Well here it goes, Its about …Akane-chan…”

“ …. -_____-* “ Killua’s tone turned 360 degrees over. “*pissed* what about that bitch!?”

“I know it’s pretty confusing for you but, I need to protect her as much as possible.”

“Why!?”

“Because.. She is a family. Akane-chan has been an orphan every since birth so that’s why , as much as I can do it, I want to make her feel happy. Let her feel that people around her loves her….”

_But why you?_

_“_ I want to watch her and feel see for myself that she becomes someone strong enough to withstand anything…”

_Why does it have to be you Gon? It could’ve have been anyone else but you…_

_“_ because Akane-chan is like you Killua-kun…”

_Fuck this!! Don’t compare me to her!_

“Akane-chan is also from ….”

Killua stared at Gon but then he sensed a killing aura behind him. He turned around and he saw Akane, up above ready to strangle Killua.

“You idiot didn’t you even realize this is a boat!!!!!!!!”Killua shouted.

CLANK!!! The moment Akane landed on the boat, her impact was so strong that it made a hole on it. The boat staggered as the three of them panic.

“Stop moving!” Gon said

“I thought I told you to stop hitting on Gon-kun! Pereted Killua!!!!” Akane punched Killua on the head

“Now, I had had it !!!!!!!” Killua gave the punched back at Akane

“That hurts!!!!”

“Hey stop it you two, stop moving so much…. If you continue that the boat might actually tur----“

SPLASH!!! The three of them fell on the water. Gon went out of the water before the two. But the moment the two went back to the surface there were all over each other trying to punch each other’s face. Gon looked at the two with a jealous face. But to whom was he jealous? Killua?....or is it Akane??

 

_The day passed by so quickly after that fiasco. After the boat we went to go see the roller coaster. The idiotic girl rode it but throw up after just one ride. Please… how annoying…. But Gon was saying something before Akane jumped on our boat. But I just can’t seem to remember it, something about me and Akane being alike? I wonder what is it?_

“Gon-kun lets go to the Ferris wheel!!!!!”

“Okay …”

“Gon if you keep spoiling that idiot, she will just do countless of stupid things without any hesitation.”

“Stop calling me an idiot! Pervert!”

“hmmmp….”

 Then I felt that strong presence once again. This time it was coming from behind the trees. What does it want? Its been following us every since we were on the boat. I wonder what they want?

“Gon, _you_ aside from Gon…”

“Who’re you calling _you_!!! Try to remember my name once…”

“… stay here okay? Im going check something up.”

“…huh? What is it Killua?”

“Just stay here for a while with Akane…”

Then he marched towards the forest. Feeling every presence from every part of the forest. The sun was now setting ang everything was getting unlit. When Killua was sure that he was now far towards the two, he let out a loud hissed.

“Show yourself! There’s no way you could hide such strong killing aura!!”

“fufufufufu …. Kil---lluaaaaa~kuuuuunnnn… you never fail to impress me _♥_ ”

_That annoying gayish voice… Hisoka !_

“Why were you following us?”

“Secret _♥_ *winks*”

Killua gave a lightning punch on HIsoka’s stomach.

“Give me a descent answer or else I’m going to kill you!”

“Fuufufufufufu… Killua-kun… I thought that you would probably notice by now what _we_ are really after. Why don’t you come out of there and explain everything to your cute little brother, Illumi-tan”

_My bady flinched at the sound of his name. why is he here? And why is he in cahoots with Hisoka-sensei? This isn’t right. Are they after Gon? Or are they after me?_

“Killu-chan… its been a while…”

“A-aniki…”

“Aren’t you tired of playing tamed lamb? You better stop this stupid act and go back home. That _thing_ is waiting for you.”

“Stop referring Alluka as a thing!”

“Well, then, if you want me to acknowledge that thing as a family then give me Gon…”

“ohhhnnnnnnn….. Illumi-chan _♥♥♥_ you spoke of the taboo word…. Don’t make me turn myself on with that name … hnnnnnnmmmmm”

Hisoka braced himself towards Illumi’s neck and bit his ear.

“Stop doing that Hisoka…”

“But your so darn scrumptious Illumi-tan…hnnnnnn”

“the two of you disgust me to the bones !!! what do you want with Gon?”

“Oh dear me, have you already forgotten that girl huh Killu-chan? We need him to bring that brat princess back.”

“What about Akane?”

“So her name now is Akane… interesting…”

_Im getting confused. Akane? So that’s not her name. that girl who is she?why does Gon have to be in a package deal with that girl?_

“You! Don’t you ever lay your hands on Gon!! Or else….”

“Or else what… Killu-chan?”

_“Ohnnnnnnnn that look again…. Killua-kun….♥♥ hey nobody’s paying attention to me T.T”_

“or else I’m going to kill both of you…”

He turned around and walked away from them. he didn’t even dare to look back because the sight of the two of them was very frustrating enough.

“Illumiii-tan… why didn’t you tell Killua-kun the truth about that girl?”

“and what hisoka….ruin the perfect plan the boss gave us? Not a chance. Even though his my cute little brother, I just couldn’t tell him that she’s the last living survivor that attacked our family 20 years ago. Killu-chan was only 2 years old back then, so I could figure out why he didn’t remember that he was the one who killed all of that girl’s family members”

“oooohhhhh… but wouldn’t it be easier to just tell him that….. _♥_ ”

“Remember we need that antidote before we kill that girl and besides… I want to see that _boy_ in pain first before I kill that girl. Sorry Hisoka-…”

“It would be ashamed if Gon-kun would die, but… uhmmmmmmm the pain in his face  turnssss meeeee so dang on!!!!!! _♥_ ”

“fufufufufufufuf .. c’mon … let’s go to somewhere we can see them….”

“kyaaaaaa I love that idea Illumi-tan… _♥♥_ ”

 

“Ughhhhhhhhh *coughs*”

“Gon-kuuun what’s wrong?”

_What’s going on with those two? I was just went away for a while…_

“Hey, what’s happening?”

“Perverted guy … its Gon … I think he’s sick”

“( _perverted guy!?_ ) Should we call it a day?”

“No… _ugh_ … Akane-chan wants to ride the Ferris wheel?”

“But… Gon-kun….”

“Its okay Akane-chan, remember this is the first date we have for so many months? I want to make you happy…”

“Gon-kuuun thank you !!!” Akane strode towards Gon and hugged him tight teary-eyed. Killua stood infront of them as they tightly locked each others on their embraced. He glared at the two of them and clenched his fist tightly almost breaking his hands’ bones.

_Akane…. Akane this…. Akane that !!! why does he talk about that stupid girl so much!!?_

_‘I know it’s pretty confusing for you but, I need to protect her as much as possible.’_

_Is she that important to you? If she is, why!? Why wont you explain it to me??? I thought I could understand you Gon, but now, I don’t think I even know you. I hate this feeling that I’m all messed up because I an’t even settle everything to you. Is this the price I have to pay, for that broken promise? This is too much… too much._

“Enough….”

“Ne, you were saying something perverted guy?”

“… Akan-chan stop calling my bestfriend names like that…”

_Bestfriend???_

“Killua, you saying something?”

“I have enough of this!!!!”

_I’m going to settle this once and for all. Its now or never!!_

“Come with me Gon!!!!!”

“Oi!!!!!! What are you doing? Where are you taking him Killua-san!!!!!!! Killua-san!!!!”

“Killua… stop this…”

“I’ve been holding back for so long Gon!! Its time ….”

He dragged Gon towards the ferris wheel line and pushed through the crowded couples waiting for their turn.

“Out of my way!!!” Killua said kicking the FW operator. He unlocked the door and pushed Gon inside the moving ferris wheel. He jumped in and locked the door. The FW continued to move and the silence between the two was silence itself. Only their panting---gasping for air was heard.

“Now, tell me!!! Gon !!!!! because, I cant take this anymore. The more I deprive myself, the more I wanted to be with you!”

Gon looked astonished at Killua and then he smiled and laughed hard.

“what are you laughing about quit messing with me this isn’t a joke !!!”

He punched the side of the cart they were in. almost teary-eye and quite flushed. Killua knelt infront of Gon.

“Quit messing with me Gon! Coz…” his voice started to break “I don’t get it anymore… I’m going crazy! I--I feel weird every time you speak to me. I know Akane can be such a stupid person but I know she's nice. I accepted the fact that it’s true but....I can't control myself ...whenever she's around you, it just pisses me off to the extent that I wanna kill her but I’m so afraid… I’m so afraid Gon, because if I do, You'll be lonely and even I can't bear seeing you like that! So, answer me honestly! What the hell is happening to me? I can't deal with this anymore. I'm turning into some giant perverted asshole because of you, you dumbass!!” with the sudden outburst of words, Killua broke down and tears started to form in his eyes “Darn it !!! you worthless guy !!! wh—why… why would I be crying at the time like this …”

“Its because you're inlove with me..” Gon uttered. Killua stopped wiping his tears for a while and tried to digest what Gon said.                  

“Excuse me?”

“Killua's inlove with me.” Gon said sniggering silently

“Stop joking around Gon !!! I'm serious here… Why can’t you be serious once in your lif---….”

“I love you too.... Killua”

“…...”

“Sometimes I also get this weird feeling on my chest whenever I saw the two of you (Akane) getting along so well-….”

“…The hell? that's not getting along. You've totally misunderstood it ….”

Gon covered Killua’s mouth and continued to speak. Killua drenched in tears and still flushed calmly listened to him.

“Shut up for a while okay?” Killua nodded at him “…If I haven’t been thinking about you then I would be jealous over you because you’re stealing my fiancée, but I recently thought that... Hey! I'm jealous of Akane. And I would stop for a while thinking its wrong but, I can’t bear to see the two of you…. And I was thinking, that someday… I’ll be one day saying ‘stop getting along with Killua, He's mine!’ or so I thought anything between it”

_We were feeling the same thing. So, it has a punch line like this. You’re kidding me. I only dreamt of this day but… I’m so happy…. And this happiness is no kind of happiness I felt everyday._

“What are you talking about Gon?” _liar ! say it, say it to him that you’re happy…_

“You’re even worst than Akane… Killua. I’m just telling you that, morals, society rules or any rules, I’ll break it for you. I’ll break it all just to be with you…”

Gon stood up and went near Killua who was still frozen on the floor kneeling. He caresses Killua’s cheek and sat down in front of him. Gon wiped Killua’s tears and kissed his forehead gently. He looked once again at Killua’s damped face but now his eyes were close. Slow movements follow and without hesitation, Killua’s longing and uncertain lips finally touched the lips of his beloved.

_This guy…how many times does he plan to stop my heart?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the last one that I'll be updating. Sighs. am I doing good with this fic? (T_T) Thank you for reading and sticking until this chapter. I would love to read your opinions about this. Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I love to hear your opinion about it. Thank you. :)


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